So now, our divine Sun King, having lain in the Abyss for three days, has risen from Walter Reed Hospital, on behalf of all mankind (meaning, himself) and returned to the White House, without a mask of course. After all, there’s no point in safety precautions now that everyone else there is infected too.
It was clear to most of the press (as in the ones who aren’t Fox or OANN) that Viceroy Trump was not out of the woods (almost every doctor says that you need to isolate for at least 14 days once you’re shown to be positive) and a lot of them watched the film coverage of him ascending the staircase to the upper balcony of the White House and then take his mask off to stand and salute, and said that he looked unwell, straining to breathe. I’m frankly not sure how that’s different from any other day. He always looks like he’s straining to breathe. The impression I got was that he’d rather have been anywhere else but he had to keep up a brave face. As in, more so than usual.
You ever see that video of the two-year old who picked up an onion and started eating it cause he thought it was an apple? And you could tell from his face that he’d made a tremendous mistake, but he kept eating it anyway, to make it look like he MEANT to do that?
You know, this video?
That’s Trump.
Based on the information that the Trump Organization has deigned to be released, one of the reasons Trump was feeling well enough to return to his forever home was that doctors had prescribed an uncommon regimen of drugs including not only remdesivir but a steroid called dexamethasone, which is only recommended for patients with a severe case of COVID-19. Which actually makes sense, because Trump would never have gone to the hospital if he could have helped it. After all, they weren’t even going to admit that anyone in the White House had the virus until the news about Hope Hicks leaked out.
The reason that Trump feels so well may be related to the side effects of dexamethasone, which while it has been shown to have real effects in treating the disease also has side effects including: “confusion, delirium, mania, and a higher risk of other infections. The drug can even complicate a patient’s recovery by suppressing the immune system’s virus-fighting response.” That is why it’s only recommended for serious cases.
So: confusion, delirium, mania and a higher risk of other issues. Again, what’s the difference from before?
If these side effects are genuine in this case, the real problem is that they combine with Trump’s already existing personality tendencies, specifically his serious belief in the power of positive thinking. Now, there’s nothing wrong with that concept in its limits, if you can psych yourself up to achieve something that is possible with the right motivation. But there’s a difference between keeping the right attitude and whistling past the graveyard, which in most cases is a metaphor we don’t use literally. When Trump left the hospital Monday, he did a video speech from the entry of the White House, where he said “I just left Walter Reed Medical Center, and it’s really something very special. The doctors, the nurses, the first responders, and I learned so much about coronavirus. One thing that’s for certain, don’t let it dominate you. Don’t be afraid of it. You’re going to beat it. We have the best medical equipment. We have the best medicines all developed recently, and you’re going to beat it. I went … I didn’t feel so good. And two days ago, I could have left two days ago. Two days ago, I felt great. Like, better than I have in a long time. I said just recently … better than 20 years ago. Don’t let it dominate. Don’t let it take over your lives. … Nobody that’s a leader would not do what I did. And I know there’s a risk. There’s a danger. But that’s okay, and now I’m better. Maybe I’m immune. I don’t know. But don’t let it dominate your lives.”
Coronavirus? Nothing to worry about. After all, if you’ve already died, there’s nothing to worry about, and if you’re alive, you’ve got the resources of an entire government and the ability to command Walter Reed Hospital to give you experimental drug treatments. What, most people can’t do that? Well, too bad for them, I guess.
But then, if you’ve already lost your job, lost your movie theatres, lost your favorite shops, lost your favorite restaurants, and lost your favorite relative because of a virus that Trump has let run wild for the better part of a year, the advice “don’t let it take over your lives” might seem a bit odd.
Meanwhile, while Trump continues to believe as usual that nothing bad can happen to him, more and more people in his circle are determined to have coronavirus, including White House Press Secretary For Now Kayleigh McEnany and senior staffer Stephen Miller, an event which confirms that the virus can jump species. There were also at least two unnamed housekeeping staff who got the virus but according to the New York Times’ Maggie Haberman were told to use “discretion” in discussing it with reporters.
And as for making bad decisions on steroids, that might explain the worse-than-usual decision of Trump on Tuesday to announce that there would be no negotiations on a second coronavirus stimulus deal “until after the election when, immediately after I win” a decision that Jonathan Chait called “The Worst Political Blunder In History.” (I don’t know. I’d say that was either voting for Trump or Trump running for president in the first place.)
The problem with this isn’t the idea that there was any question of whether Congress was ever going to get to a coronavirus stimulus bill. It’s not, because Mitch ‘the Bitch’ McConnell has already held up all Senate business except approving Trump’s Supreme Court nominee Amy Comey Barrett, even though the virus now running rampant through Washington is threatening the lives of Senators and possibly Barrett herself. The problem with this maneuver is the idea that Trump has any say in that process and can hold it up because he’s an almighty god of money and prosperity from whom all blessings flow and who will personally stop any chance at economic recovery unless the voters give him the unlimited power to indulge his petty whims and desires for revenge. What this did was reveal that rather than holding the voters’ fates in his hands, it’s the other way around. Trump has confirmed that both he and McConnell are playing an empty hand with no chips. Not only that, Trump blew the one asset he always had, the idea that he was good for the stock market, and could save himself by priming the economy. Now that’s gone. Stock markets crashed on Tuesday. That and perhaps some choice language behind the scenes led Our Very Stable Genius to reverse course and twit shortly before 10 pm Eastern, “The House & Senate should IMMEDIATELY Approve 25 Billion Dollars for Airline Payroll Support, & 135 Billion Dollars for Paycheck Protection Program for Small Business. Both of these will be fully paid for with unused funds from the Cares Act. Have this money. I will sign now!” Ha ha ha. That’s so cute.
I’ve always thought that Trump’s whole approach to the virus was the same as his approach to everything else, where he could just pretend to be the biggest, loudest, meanest, stinkiest ape in the jungle, and he was gonna pound his chest, and bellow to the sky, and BEAT that virus to death with his bare hands. And then his fan club would just shake their heads and say, “Oh, that Trump! He may be a gorilla, but at least he’s OUR gorilla!”
Again, that IS how he’s done everything else so far. And it’s always worked.
Well, apparently that now is the official position of the Party of Trump. The always moronic Matt Gaetz (Banana Republican-Florida) said, “President Trump won’t have to recover from COVID. COVID will have to recover from President Trump.” (Much like the rest of the country.) Embattled Georgia Senator Kelly Loeffler actually took an old Donald Trump video from his WWE days and edited it to show him laying the smackdown on coronavirus. (Of course Trump has always had an affinity for pro wrestlers. They have certain things in common: bad decisions, steroids, and making bad decisions on steroids.)
But as I’ve said, it’s one thing to bullshit and bully a social structure, but you can’t bullshit or bully a virus. And while the appeal of Trump may be the idea that he can get away with anything he wants, and you can live vicariously though him, it is getting increasingly hard to live vicariously through Trump when there’s such a high chance of you dying from Trump Virus. (TM) Not only that, it is now harder to believe that Trump can get away with anything he wants, because clearly he was at least infected. And while Trump and his fan club share the goal of presenting Trump (and by extension themselves) as invincible, we’ve already had over 207,000 people die from this thing. How many of them were people who voted Trump in 2016? How many new voters is he going to get this year that he didn’t have last time? Probably not that many, and not enough.
Which is why Trump is so desperate to get back on the stage with Joe Biden for their previously scheduled second debate next week, even though Biden, who at first agreed to continuing the schedule after last week’s fiasco, is now saying that the debate should be called off if Trump is still infected.
But if Trump can’t have a debate, how is he supposed to pretend that everything is okay?? After all: It is better to look good than to feel good. If you know what I mean. And I think that you do.
Well, if Biden won’t let Trump pretend, Trump can always stage his own live event this weekend, and pull out all the stops for his redcap base:
TRUMPOSAURUS!!!
SUNDAY! SUNDAY! SUNDAY!
Watch Trumposaurus eat 10 pieces of KFC, a Big Mac, a Filet-O-Fish, a rack of ribs and a large DIET Coke!
SUNDAY! SUNDAY! SUNDAY!
Watch TRUMP ride a rolling-coal pickup truck on six-foot high tires over a supply of American farm produce that we’re keeping from the CHINESE!!
SUNDAY! SUNDAY! SUNDAY!
Watch TRUMP force Chuckie Schumer and Crazy Nancy Pelosi into a two-on-one battle to THE DEATH – in a STEEEL CAGE MATCH!!!
SUNDAY! SUNDAY! SUNDAY!
Watch TRUMPOSAURUS fuck TEN PORN STARS bareback and then break the neck of an endangered Siberian Tiger and EAT ITS HEART!
ALL before a LIVE AUDIENCE!
Get your tickets NOW!!
SUNDAY!
SUNDAY!!
SUNDAY!!!